According to the Flea You figure fleas are about as useful as appendix transplants, but the truth is, we’re your best friend’s friends. Why else would Lassie give us a free ride to the circus? Dogs can’t have too many of us. Just as men never have quite enough women, and women enough footwear. Ever see one hypnotized by the windows of a shoe store, like a fellow at the magazine rack mesmerized by a centerfold? We’re not just freeloaders hopping from here to there, from hair to ear. We put energy into words that rhyme with ditch and snatch. We dance. We put your sister Kate’s shimmy and shake to shame. To pass the time riding around on mutts, we play poker. Lowball, Stud scratch Five Card Draw scratch scratch, Omaha, Texas Hold ‘em. You’re bluffing. I’ll see your three-year itch and raise you four.
	—Joe Smith